Sometimes i am fine but have bad times this past few wks have been especially bad with me taking a lot out on h2b, i feel like im always yelling at him and kids for tinest things and i hate me when im like this.
i suffer from anxiety too - in fact this was the original cause of my having to stop work. i'm a student studying nursing, but my mentor on the ward was terrible and i became increasingly anxious on my shifts until i couldn't cope anymore. i had to interrupt my studies and quit my part-time job. now, having been out of work for so long, i'm terrified at the prospect of going back and am totally lacking in confidence regarding even the most basic jobs - i applied to work as a volunteer in a charity shop store room, but even that was too daunting for me and i couldn't cope with even going in for one shift.
i also understand about the self-resentment. i nag hubby all the time, and although it's usually water off a duck's back he sometimes gets fed up of it, but when he says 'how do you think i feel getting naged for everthing i do, listen to yourself!' it makes me cry because it makes me feel like i'm a really unreasonable person and am a burden on him, which makes me hate myself. poor hubby - he can't win!
He's questioned me before about why i had had a baby before marriage and said if i was in his country i would be basically an outcast! I had to sit there and explain myself!
I have seen other docs at the practise but they all act like your wasting there time.
I thought docs were supposed to be understanding and supportive!!!!?
wow, your docter sounds awful! can you change practices? if not, try and speak to which ever one is the least hopeless - they might be able to help you in this matter even if they haven't in the past.
It affects me differently in different years, sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I remember doing that lots when i was younger sat between the wall and my bed curled up with my teddy bear.
Normally it gets better around december - i guess with a lot to concerntrate on with Christmas. One year it just got worse and worse but that was because I hated my job. I didn't want to get up in the morning, I hated sundays because it meant monday was on its way - very simular to my first year at uni when I hated being there.
I feel a bit down on and off at the moment but I think that is just work and it will pass.
that's why i'm not sure i suffer from depression because i know what causes it and kind of know how to get round it.
it sounds like you have been depressed - just because you know ways of avoidinging it doesn't mean it's not real, just that you've learned what the risk factors are and have learned to deal with them to avoid getting swept up in depression in the future.
however, for anyone who is in doubt about whether they have been or are depressed here is a test which is pretty much what doctors use to diagnose depression.